MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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