I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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