Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
