No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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