whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
