Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
