apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
