Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize