i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
