Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
