How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you traded sex for a burrito?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize
