I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
