Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
