thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
