Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
