I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just cut my nipple shaving
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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