i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
