I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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