Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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