I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
