my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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