Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
