see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
