You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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