We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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