Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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