i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
