it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
