His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize