:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
