You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
