I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
