why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
