I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
its not stalking. its research.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
