I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
