I hate your face
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
