anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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