My Higher Power is John Stamos
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
