I don't usually arrange sex via text message
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
