After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
