so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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