I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
