would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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