i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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