Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
