Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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