google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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