new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
