I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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