..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
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