the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
