just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
