i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
