Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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