People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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