you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
