i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
