i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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