Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
