So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
