The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
