I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
