honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize