My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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