So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
